my brain is trying to grasp at something anything to rationalize this whole loss better and there really isn't anything. because i cant fully understand the point of view. i respect it but i dont agree with it. it just seems like i was a there at the right time and my use has been fulfilled. i really feel like i'm drowning in my mind trying to grasp at anything to make me feel better. i thought we had agreed to work through anything because we loved each other... there are so many things that we said that seem now to be untrue like i was lied to.
i can't listen to half my CD collection cuz all it does is remind me of her. i had never identified so many songs with a person. some were so personal that i would listen to them and all i could think about was how in love i was with her...
i need a new anything to keep my mind occupied. this is insane. my brain doesn't stop ever and its killing me. i want to go back and time and relive our amazing moments. they were so perfect... i've never known that kind of happiness.
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