acceptance is hard to come by, harder to force

i want my mind to stop! a while ago i couldn't accept that i was happy, now it can't accept that its gone........... i don't want to go back. i just don't.......... it hits me like a wave. every emotion washing over with an air of hopelessness. i hate feeling this way, i've never had such a hard time getting over anything... i had it rough after my marriage fell through cuz of the kid and all, but not because i was madly in love .... like i am now...